Saturday, April 5, 2008

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

On re-reading what I wrote below in this comment, it might sound that I'm being less than gentle. That is not my intention. I feel for you, and I think it sounds like you're still beating yourself for this abortion that happened years ago. I'm also guessing that it's time for you to feel some relief and move on so that you can be closer to God.

If you confessed and God forgave you, then you should forgive yourself as well. Knowing that God forgave you, if you do not forgive yourself, isn't that like saying, "God is wrong. I don't deserve forgiveness." Clearly it is a challenge to submit to the will of God in this situation, but if it is His will to forgive you, then you need to continue praying to bend your will to His. He knows better what you need than you do.

Also, if you forgive yourself, maybe you can start talking to your child, and maybe someday you'll meet in heaven. I don't understand all the theological ins and outs of aborted children, but it seems that a baby in the womb would only be subject to concupiscence and would not have committed a willful sin. Any child in the womb would also desire that his needs be fulfilled, and we know that God is the One and Only who can fulfill all our needs. Thus I would guess these children are Christians due to baptism by desire, and Jesus's sacrifice covers us for concupiscence. So in the communion of the saints, your child is alive. She can see and hear you, and you can talk to her. Perhaps you can start by apologizing, which will make you feel better. Then you can give her a birth name and move on with the real conversation. May God bless you and your child.