This web log shall concern itself with the issue that Saint Arnulf of Metz struggled with his whole life: how to reconcile our Catholic faith with a life lived in the world.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
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On re-reading what I wrote below in this comment, it might sound that I'm being less than gentle. That is not my intention. I feel for you, and I think it sounds like you're still beating yourself for this abortion that happened years ago. I'm also guessing that it's time for you to feel some relief and move on so that you can be closer to God.
If you confessed and God forgave you, then you should forgive yourself as well. Knowing that God forgave you, if you do not forgive yourself, isn't that like saying, "God is wrong. I don't deserve forgiveness." Clearly it is a challenge to submit to the will of God in this situation, but if it is His will to forgive you, then you need to continue praying to bend your will to His. He knows better what you need than you do.
Also, if you forgive yourself, maybe you can start talking to your child, and maybe someday you'll meet in heaven. I don't understand all the theological ins and outs of aborted children, but it seems that a baby in the womb would only be subject to concupiscence and would not have committed a willful sin. Any child in the womb would also desire that his needs be fulfilled, and we know that God is the One and Only who can fulfill all our needs. Thus I would guess these children are Christians due to baptism by desire, and Jesus's sacrifice covers us for concupiscence. So in the communion of the saints, your child is alive. She can see and hear you, and you can talk to her. Perhaps you can start by apologizing, which will make you feel better. Then you can give her a birth name and move on with the real conversation. May God bless you and your child.
Born near Nancy, to a Frankish noble family in 582 AD, Arnulf gave distinguished service at the Austrasian court under Theudebert II (595-612). Though a capable man, he was also very much a man of the world, renouncing his wife Doda after a quarrel and becoming known for being “full lusty and ready for all delights." At the age of thirty, repenting of his sinful ways, he wished to retire to a monastery where he could make his peace with God. Instead, in 614, he was made bishop of Metz, despite a layman at the time. Even while serving as a model bishop, Arnulf, along with with Saint Pippin of Landen, served as chief adviser to kings Clotaire the Great and Dagobert I. In 627 AD Arnulf was finally allowed to retire to a mountain site in the Vosges, to implement his lifelong resolution to become a hermit. His friend Romaric had preceded him to the mountains and had already established the monastery of Remiremont there. Arnulf settled there, and remained there until his death twelve years later.
Arnulf is known as the patron saint of brewing. His feast day is either July 18 or August 16.
1 comment:
On re-reading what I wrote below in this comment, it might sound that I'm being less than gentle. That is not my intention. I feel for you, and I think it sounds like you're still beating yourself for this abortion that happened years ago. I'm also guessing that it's time for you to feel some relief and move on so that you can be closer to God.
If you confessed and God forgave you, then you should forgive yourself as well. Knowing that God forgave you, if you do not forgive yourself, isn't that like saying, "God is wrong. I don't deserve forgiveness." Clearly it is a challenge to submit to the will of God in this situation, but if it is His will to forgive you, then you need to continue praying to bend your will to His. He knows better what you need than you do.
Also, if you forgive yourself, maybe you can start talking to your child, and maybe someday you'll meet in heaven. I don't understand all the theological ins and outs of aborted children, but it seems that a baby in the womb would only be subject to concupiscence and would not have committed a willful sin. Any child in the womb would also desire that his needs be fulfilled, and we know that God is the One and Only who can fulfill all our needs. Thus I would guess these children are Christians due to baptism by desire, and Jesus's sacrifice covers us for concupiscence. So in the communion of the saints, your child is alive. She can see and hear you, and you can talk to her. Perhaps you can start by apologizing, which will make you feel better. Then you can give her a birth name and move on with the real conversation. May God bless you and your child.
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